I was looking through some pictures and Facebook posts from a few years ago during my first trip to Uganda. My first thought was, “You had no clue.”
I really didn’t.
So much beauty and struggle has been birthed into my life from that first trip to Uganda. So much friendship and family has come from the loneliest moments I can recall. So much hope.
I remember spending my last few dollars on a root beer. It was in a glass bottle and that made me feel good, like I wasn’t so broke. That glass bottle is on display in my living room today. It reminds me that no matter how hard things get there is a tomorrow and there is hope.
I remember dumpster diving at Chick-fil-a, out of money and tired of asking for help.
I remember not being able to make rent.
I remember feeling alone.
I remember crying out to God. I remember crying. (I’m tearing up a little now.)
I remember checks coming in the mail from people I had never met when I thought it was all over.
I remember a handful of people telling me they believed in me and in the dream and it giving me the courage to keep pressing on.
I remember moments where I felt like I was resting at the feet of the Father himself.
Somewhere along the way I grew up, something I was once committed to never doing. It’s not that I consider myself to have arrived. It’s just that we made it out of the woods and this is the first time I’ve felt it. Three years ago I was a boy with a dream. I’m not that same boy anymore. I feel the weight of the journey this morning.
I talked with Robert, our Ugandan director, last week and haven't felt so encouraged in a long time. The kids are growing like weeds. We are homeschooling our two youngest and their improvement is remarkable. Their english is nearly better than mine. I felt like a proud papa.
We have our first high school graduate who will soon be our first college student.
Better schools. Better grades. Healthier humans. Chickens. Rabbits. Gardens. Sugar cane. Love.
Sometimes you feel like you’re not getting anywhere and then you look up and everything is new. You’re out of the woods and you’re not sure how you made it.
The struggle isn’t over. This is just the beginning. We’ll go hard until we reach the other side. We’ll trek deeper into the brokenness because thats where we were made to go. Just like Jesus.