This is hard.

I love what I do. So much. I wake up every day and pour myself into the work and people that I’m passionate about. That is a gift, one that I don’t often take for granted. Most days I feel a sense of excitement and anticipation thinking about the future of RUJA. 

Not every day.

Some days, I want to quit. 

I get tired of the responsibility and the pressure. I grow weary of wondering if we’re going to have enough money to make budget in Uganda. I get frustrated with not knowing what I’m doing. I feel lost. I feel alone. 

I want to be able to move in with my friends and know that I can afford rent. I want to have enough money to take a girl on a nice date. 

I just want to be normal. 

This week we made the decision that a January trip isn’t financially feasible. This was really tough for me. I broke a promise to our kids that I would be there to celebrate a late Christmas. I’m going to miss out on valuable time with Robert and Milly. It sucks.

This was the single toughest decision I’ve had to make in the last year and a half since we started RUJA.

Life isn’t all Instagram makes it out to be.

It is worth it. The hard times, the days I want to quit are so worth it. 

I may be strapped for cash but I’m richer than I ever could have imagined in friends who encourage me. I have a front row seat to redemption, a seat so good that not even the richest folks I know could write a check big enough. You just can’t buy this stuff.

I’m one wealthy dude. I wouldn’t trade it for a fat paycheck. I wouldn’t trade it for “easy.” 

In the words of the ever wise Weezer, “This is what I was meant to do and you can’t put that on sale.”

Thanks to everybody who loves me through the tough days and the good ones. Thanks to everyone who is a part of this dream. You help me press on.

Jesus is my example.

Robert and Milly, we are in this together. I love you guys.

Annette, Betty, Rose, Alex, Joanne, Job, and Zoey, you inspire me everyday. You have my heart.